Of Lemons and Pessimists

Pessimism—we all tend to have this trait. And it sucks.

My pessimistic side was created and nurtured during my prepubescent and pubescent stages (which I also call the Dark Ages). It was the time when I would blame all the bad things on anyone but myself, and then proceed to loathe my whole existence for being an antisocial tween who thinks she was much more mature than the people around her. I was basically an emo kid with a dark cloud above my head.

Thankfully, I got out of that hellish part of my life by the time I was in my final year of high school. Since I was, quite honestly, very elated to leave my high school life, I became a bit more positive during 10th grade. The optimistic mindset was going great, until yesterday happened.

What is it, you ask? Nothing big, just every UP student’s worst nightmare: the initial schedule.

Now, I’m just going to remind you that I’ve only had one year of experience in the university. One year. I still have a lot of obstacles to encounter and things to go through and all that shit, so I guess it’s understandable that I kind of freaked out when I was not given full units. It was shocking because I was one of those lucky bastards that had been having full units for the past year—that streak ended yesterday.

Naturally, my mind started overthinking. What? What?? What did I do to deserve this? I must have wronged someone. God is probably punishing me. I’m doomed. What am I going to do? Oh no. Oh God. Fu—

The most frustrating thing about this situation is that it wasn’t even that big of a problem.* I’m only missing my majors and it’s probably 99% guaranteed (hopefully) that I would get it, whether through online enlistment or manual. But of course, I wasn’t thinking about this last night as my mind churned toxic thoughts.

Anyway, I find it sad that we humans tend to think that we’re always having it worse than others, as if we’re all competing for the title of The Person With The Most Fucked Up Life. We don’t realize that we’re actually the luckier fish until we see another fish getting grilled on a bunch of hot coals. For instance, I only realized that my situation is far from being unfortunate when I saw my Facebook friend’s schedule, which has no units at all (I’m rooting for you!).

I’m not saying that we should always be ‘jolly’ about everything that’s given to us because, let’s face it, that’s kind of impossible. But it wouldn’t hurt either to be less pessimistic and more rational. Don’t instantly think that the whole universe is against you, and only you. Trust me, the universe equally hates loves us all.

Also, don’t be the emo tween that I was, who only let the lemons rot on the ground whenever life throws her a handful of them. Thank life for giving you those lemons, even though they aren’t the best bunch of lemons you’ve ever seen, and then turn them into lemonades. Or put them in your iced tea. Or throw it back at life. Whatever makes you happy.

*I only realized that my problem isn’t really that big earlier today, when I woke up. Sleep does things to your brain, it’s awesome.
Also, this post got kind of metaphorical in the lamest way possible and I am so sorry for that.


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