I knew it was inevitable to avoid the dilemma that all of my batchmates are going through at this point in life. It is, after all, one of those things that cross my mind every now and then. However, nobody told me that I’m about to face it this week.
Organizations. Student organizations, to be more specific. Orgs, for short.
Idealism vs. Realism
My idealistic side thinks that being in an org will be beneficial for my future career, although that really depends on which org I’m going to join. On the other hand, my realistic side keeps reminding me that I am incredibly bad in social situations. If I can’t handle large groups of people, then how am I going to handle being in an organization?
Here’s the thing about me: I am bad at memorizing names and faces the first time I see them, so whenever I walk past someone whom I’ve just met, either they have to be the first to say hi to me, or we don’t acknowledge each other’s existence at all. The latter usually leads to awkwardness, and that’s a bad thing. Also, I’m nearsighted.
Here’s the thing about orgs: They have a lot of members.
So imagine if I stumble upon one of the members of the org I’m planning to join, and I just walk past him/her like I don’t know her. Not only does it create an awkward tension between the two of us, it also makes me seem like a bitch (which isn’t true at all
most of the time).
Basically, I don’t think I’m fit to join any form organization.
Dilemma Within a Dilemma
“But what if you can do it,” insists my idealistic side, “and you’re just too afraid to try?”
Okay, yes, I’m a coward when it comes to this. But besides that, here’s another thing: my older sister is in the same org. And I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, but
a.) from another person’s perspective, doesn’t it seem really weird that we’re in the same organization (aside from being in the same course and college)?
b.) wouldn’t it be awkward to report to your sister?
c.) wouldn’t it seem as if I’m just copying her at everything? Which, just to be very clear, I’m not?
“Then don’t join,” says my now-annoyed realistic side.
“But what that certain org is doing is my thing,” I whined. “And their dedication to what they’re doing is inspiring!!!!!!”
Erwin Schrödinger’s Advice
Schrödinger’s cat—that’s what always comes to my mind whenever I become indecisive. I’ll never know the outcome, unless I open the box.
So should I dare open the box?
[Hello, this is me over-analyzing a very simple situation. I tend to do this frequently, so best get used to it. Also, I may have unconsciously exaggerated parts of this post (eg. I don’t talk to myself aloud when I’m alone).]