On most days, I would cheer myself up if I’m feeling down because I know that sadness is a temporary feeling.
But sometimes, the feeling of unworthiness rushes through me like a tidal wave and my entire soul gets trapped in a bubble of misery.
Whenever this happens, I situate myself in the middle of an intersection and decide on which direction I would go: the positive road or the not-so-positive road.
The Positive Road
This is when self-worth becomes an important aspect of my life. Only recently have I realized just how valuable I am as a human being.
It sounds very egoistic, but what I mean is that I’m important to myself. Compared to how I view myself in the past, I feel more comfortable with who I am now because I know my strengths and weaknesses, what I want and do not want, and this thought helps me a lot in times when I feel worthless because I’m reminded of how much I care about myself—my mental, physical, and social health—and how I should continue to do so.
In this road, I tell myself that I may be unworthy to a lot of people, but what matters is that I’m worthy to myself because, in the end, I own my life.
The Not-So-Positive Road
In the opposite direction, I see a gloomy weather, and yet, I’m compelled to head to this road. Most of the time, it’s good that I don’t let these negative thoughts run through my mind. But optimism can be just as tiring as pessimism, especially if I know that I’m only forcing myself to be happy. And so, I let myself be sad and second-guess if I truly am unworthy, just like what my overthinking brain is telling me. This road has a lot of bumps, humps, and uneven surfaces, but I know that once I pass the entire route, the next road will be much, much better.
Does it really matter?
Whatever road I choose, the universe will keep expanding and continue not to care, and just like the size of the universe, everything that I’m feeling while I’m in this intersection is momentary.
So if I pick the first one, I would keep reminding myself that this road—happiness—is temporary. If I pick the second one, I would remind myself still that this road—sadness—is also temporary.
With this ridiculous logic in mind, I can now tell you that it’s okay to be sad, so be sad. But only let yourself drown in emotions if you’re willing to pick yourself back up. Even if you cry and beat yourself up because of your failures, keep valuing yourself because you’re the only one who will keep you going in life.
And now, my mini pep talk
for myself ends here.