Many people describe their 2017 as a mix of good and bad—I’m one of those people. My first half of the year was pretty nice; despite having a professor who gave unnecessarily difficult requirements in one subject, I was able to acquire a grade of 1.00 (the highest grade) in another. Like I said, a mix of good and bad. But then the internship happened and the year gradually became not-so-nice.
Ever since I’ve evolved into an Independent Person™, the universe hasn’t skipped a day to remind me that I’m still not equipped to face the Independent Life™.
You see, last week, my sister—a fresh graduate, an unemployed individual of society—had finally semi-moved out of our room to join my parents in the adult world and find a decent job. This forces me to do stuff alone, such as eating in public, going to the cinema, and buying groceries.
Eating alone has never been an issue for me, so I’m not really worried about that. I’m still trying to not judge myself by to going to the cinema alone, but I feel like I’ll get the hang of it soon. Grocery shopping, however, is something I haven’t really thought of.
Being the Independent Person™ that I am, I gave it a go and, boy, did it not go well.
On most days, I would cheer myself up if I’m feeling down because I know that sadness is a temporary feeling.
But sometimes, the feeling of unworthiness rushes through me like a tidal wave and my entire soul gets trapped in a bubble of misery.
Whenever this happens, I situate myself in the middle of an intersection and decide on which direction I would go: the positive road or the not-so-positive road.
Just a little update, I guess.
I haven’t really written anything (aside from my Arrival post) because of two reasons: a.) my academic and organization life had taken over my life last semester; and b.) it’s as if I lost my ability to write. Even now, I’m struggling to let the words flow freely.
But now I’m back and ready to churn out all the things I couldn’t write! Basically, this post will be a mess.
I have been studying my degree for about three years now. In those three years, I never expected to learn so, so much about communication—I didn’t even know there was a lot to learn about it. My degree is stereotypically seen as one of the “easier” degrees in the campus and whenever I hear someone belittle it, I want to break down in the middle of the road, in front of this person.
Easy? Try learning about the seven communication traditions and the theories under these traditions while trying to maintain your sanity.
My degree is hard. It’s hard because, unlike the undying concepts of mathematics and science, the topics that we’re studying have a goal. And one of the clearest signs that we have achieved this goal is when our degree is of no use to this world anymore. It’s kind of like the college version of Nanny McPhee:
When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go.
Excluding, of course, the part where she says they don’t want her.