A Smol Bean’s Dilemma

People always tell me that I should take it as a compliment when I, a 21-year-old college student, am mistaken for a 12-year-old (or below). It means you’ll look young when you’re 40, they say. People would envy you, they say.

But other than that, what other good things should I be seeing here? Because from what I have and am experiencing, there are more cons than there are pros.

Continue reading “A Smol Bean’s Dilemma”


symptoms of caffeine

i think i drank too much coffee again.
my heart can’t stop pounding, my anxieties won’t end.

the caffeine in my blood is sending chills down my spine,
but i really need this coffee—i hope i’ll be fine.

i tried drinking some water to calm all my thoughts,
yet here i am sitting with my stomach in knots.

but i know that this coffee will save me tonight;
i need to keep studying until i see the daylight.

so i bear with the jitters and the feeling of nausea
(i don’t really care if this leads to insomnia.)

i’m used to the anxiety and there’s no time to whine
i’ll drink one more coffee—i know i’ll be fine.

Hi, I’m Dianne and sometimes I make grade school-level poetry.

Film Dump: Love and Stuff

Despite fretting over my thesis revisions last month, I still somehow managed to watch a lot of films. Surprisingly, most of them were pretty good; some, not so much. For this film dump, I’ll be talking about the romance films (and a coming-of-age film) I’ve watched in the month of August.

P.S. This post is spoiler-free! But if you’re one of those people who prefer to not know anything about the movie before watching it, proceed with caution.


  1. Siargao
  2. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
  3. My Girl

Continue reading “Film Dump: Love and Stuff”

Late Night Monsters

Why is it that a thing so small can become such a big deal to me?

See, there was this thing. And then as the minutes went by, I started to feel unsettled. It’s as if this thing was subtly getting bigger and bigger and I only realized that it had become massive when I was already sobbing silently—uncontrollably—as my throat closed up and the muscles in my head and neck tensed. There was no noise, yet somehow everything felt loud and chaotic.

But it was a small thing. In reality, everything was the opposite of what I was feeling. For that, I felt pathetic.

As my mind slowly went back to its normal state, I realized that I had impulsively broadcast my instability to the virtual public and now I have to clean up my mess tomorrow morning.

God, Dianne, I hear Regina George yell, you are SO stupid!